Improving My Marriage
Survey Results
It’s easy to complain about your spouse or any person. And it’s easy to nag a person to force them to comply with your wishes. But to preserve a long-term healthy relationship, be it a marriage or business arrangement, you need to identify those attributes about your partner you like and respect, and communicate your thoughts frequently.
This survey wasn’t so much trying to understand what the general population is thinking about marriage. Taking the survey is almost a cathartic approach to increasing your awareness and sensitivity towards your partner. There were six questions asked:
- What personality traits do you most like about your spouse?
- Name one thing you have done to improve your marriage recently.
- When is your next holiday?
- What priority is sex?
- Do you feel close or connected with your spouse?
- Keeping a marriage fresh means doing something for the person you love without really needing to. What would you like to do for your spouse in the next week or so?
Love: Did You Know? Improve Your Marriage Video
What personality traits do you like most about your spouse?
It’s not a trick question, but you need to think about this. Seeing the same person day-in-day-out, and can’t get past the yucky irritating traits? Dig deep and remember the time when you actually liked your spouse. 60% of respondents said they like their spouse’s openness – which is appreciation for art, emotion, adventure, unusual ideas, curiosity and variety of experience. 40% liked agreeableness – the tendency to be compassionate and cooperative rather than suspicious and antagonistic toward others.
So how are you encouraging these traits to flourish? Do you praise them in front of your friends and relatives? Or do you assume that because they’re there, you don’t have to do anything about them? (See Husband Optimisation Tips). The corollary of this in the workforce is that of a good manager understanding and praising strengths of his team mates. People want to be recognised for their good points. Take these points you’ve noted and praise your spouse subtly and often.
Name one thing you have done to improve your marriage recently.
Equal responses covering 1) Take time to share dreams and goals, 2) Fight fair, and 3) Make decisions about finance, disciplining the children, etc. together. All really good responses. The list in itself is a ‘To Do’ list for any person committed to making his/her marriage or partnership rock solid.
The choices as below for everyone’s benefit:
- Support each other’s goals and achievements
- Respect each other
- Take time to share dreams and goals on a regular basis
- Consider daily dialog as a means of improving communication
- Laugh together at least once a day
- Fight fair
- Be willing to forgive
- Remember kindness toward each other is a great gift
- Make decisions about finance, disciplining the children, chores, vacations, etc. together
- Take time to be alone together to work on your intimacy. Schedule dates or romantic getaways
What is your next holiday?
Wow. 80% of respondents said in the next 6 months! 20% of the respondents were a little dismayed thinking about this question. Now you don’t have to contemplate Malaysia or even Bali as a holiday destination. How about scheduling a short road trip as the next best thing? You get to bring along your own pillows, stacks of books, or other entertainment. You get to support the local economy, reduce your carbon footprint, and stretch your dollar further. Vacations are mostly therapeutic and really help with your relationship building.
What priority is sex?
60% of respondents just ignored this question! Those brave few who did answer it chose ‘Sex is an infrequent after-thought.’
This isn’t rocket science – maybe you should cut out television, put away the plates faster, outsource laundry, do the dishes the next morning, put the kids to bed earlier, don’t chat to your friends on the phone for one night, establish a non-internet connected evening, take less time under the shower (even though it’s your one luxury in the day), warm the bed up against the cold winter’s night, and maybe … what am I saying? It all sounds too tiring. Can someone come up with an appropriate post on this topic, please?
Do you feel close or connected to your spouse?
2 respondents said ‘Maybe.’
What does this mean? No, I’m serious.
What can we all do to improve this closeness or connection? How are you changing your relationship for the better?
Keeping a marriage fresh means doing something for the person you love without really needing to. What would you lke to do for your spouse in the next week or so?
20% said Bring him/her coffee and drop it off during the day. 80% said Make his/her favourite meal. Remember to say that you’re investing this time for your spouse just because you wanted to. Anyone will appreciate a little kindness through the day.
Internal Links
- Husband Optimisation Tips
- And then the fight started …
- Dads play a vital role in their boys’ upbringing
- In-Laws!
- Child Remote Control
- Married Couples Argue
External Links
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Marriage is one of the most sacred ceremonies that we humans experience. Being married also gives us happines.`;’